Every time I have raised my head off the pillow over the last couple of days I have had the sensation that the world is spinning....that I am on a merry go round that doesnt have an off switch! Basic necessities like going to the bathroom are a challenge. Furniture walking my way there so I don't fall flat on my face! It came on so suddenly, without warning. One minute I was at work talking with the team leader next I was unable to get up off the chair because of the woozy, dizzy feeling that I was experiencing.
Over the last twelve months I have had these vertigo symptoms three times however my local GP believe this time it is because of a virus. I can't help but lay here and wonder if the symptoms are exacerbated by the "sneaky tumours". My head feels as though I have 1000 cicaders chirping as loud as they possibly can.
Interestingly according to livescience.com 'The chirping and clicking noises of the male cicada are actually a species-specific mating call that can be heard by females up to a mile (1.6 kilometers) away. A chorus of lovesick cicadas can reach volumes greater than 100 decibels, which is louder than a lawnmower at full bore.'
It's time like these that my positive attitude comes crashing down and I am left feeling sorry for myself. Someone, only yesterday, who is dealing with some tough medical issues of her own said that she wished that she had my courage. I believe that it takes a while for the courage to come, after you have had time to process all the information about your diagnosis and it has sunk in. With this in mind, it's time to stop feeling deflated and sorry for myself and find that courageous, determined spirit that everyone has come to know.