As I sat in the outpatients department waiting to see the specialist I looked around the waiting room to a sea of people from all walks of life. People of various ages, gender, race. Some in wheelchairs, one with a traction device to his head. Each with their own individual stories to tell. One thing is for sure, we all have the same goal....to see the specialist as soon as possible and get the hell out of here!
Today it is my hope that I can find an alternative to the nerve medication that I am taking (Lyrica). Over the last four weeks I have lived in this fuzzy bubble consumed by a wave of emotions. It's very hard to tell whether this is directly associated with the medication or if it is my subconscious still coming to terms with the hearing loss and the spinal surgery. They always say that nurses make the worst patients! I decided to reduce the medication in the hope to combat the side effects (mood swings, constant hunger, drowsiness). What I achieved instead was many sleepless nights due to the constant burning in my right knee and pain shooting from my hip to my foot. I lay in bed struggling to find a comfortable position, rocking back and forth, anything to alleviate the pain and after hours of the pain not subsiding my emotions would get the better of me and I would burst into tears. Babe would often wake up to find me crying in frustration. I am lucky to have him here supporting me at such a low time. The sleepless nights leave me a zombie the next day and I struggle with my concentration levels during the working day.
Unfortunately the specialist thinks that I need to persevere with the medication. She asked me how I have been and I told her the truth...bloody awful! Although I already got the results from my GP it was still good to hear that there was no growth and see the images on the screen. The specialist told me that I need to trust her and go with the revised dosage that she suggested and play it by ear for the next two weeks.
This may not be the outcome I was hoping for but as I lay here struggling to keep my eyes open I think the specialist may have been right!
Tomorrow is a new day.