Laying in bed I'm reflecting on what has been a terrible day. It's not very often that I write a negative post but i am afraid you are about to read one.
Today I have been unable to hear anything but murmur/crackling out of my good ear and although I never thought it possible, the tinnitus has stepped up another level. I had a taste today of what life could be like for me and I hated every minute of it. To be honest it scared the shit out of me.
Simple tasks like answering the phone or changing client appointments I had to ask someone else to do. Even sitting in the tea room at lunch time I felt useless and isolated. The few people that were there were happily chatting away amongst themselves. I gave up even trying to follow the conversation and looked mindlessly around the room. The one and only time I have ever wanted a break to hurry up and end.
The worst part of the day was when someone was trying to tell me something and I had no idea what was said. I asked them to repeat it and instead of doing this they said "don't worry" and walked off. At the moment I could have sunk to the floor and cried away all the frustration. I held onto that feeling all afternoon until I reached my car and let the tears fall.
It's amazing how draining it is having to concentrate so hard on what is going on around you all day. I was physically and emotionally exhausted by the time I got home.
In just over a week I am going to see Kasey Chambers play at the Hallam Hotel...my number one bucket list item. I am praying that my ears settle day for me to enjoy the music that I long to hear.