I left the specialist appointment yesterday feeling really disheartened. Not because I got bad news but because I didn't get the answer I was looking for. The constant high pitched ringing and "fuzzy" feeling in my head since the vertigo has made it almost impossible for me keep a positive attitude over the last few weeks. My coping mechanism was the thought that I had an appointment with the specialist coming up and she would know how to fix it. Realistically I knew deep down that this wasn't going to be the case but I suppose a little part of me held out hope for a magic cure. When I asked the specialist to wave her magic wand she laughed and told me that she wished she could but unfortunately there is nothing that can be done to alleviate these symptoms.
The vertigo could have been caused by one of two things..
A virus or a growth of the acoustic neuroma. Obviously I am hoping that it was the first option (and if this is the case it should ease with time) however I could never be really sure that it wasn't caused by a growth until I have an MRI of the brain in early December.
Luckily the ear that I am experiencing the increased tinnitus in is my "almost deaf" ear (the left) as surgery would mean I would no longer be able to hear at all from this side.
So I guess I need to come up with a new coping mechanism, a way to take my mind off this horrendous noise and think less about how exhausted it is making me. I am on annual leave for the week which makes life so much easier. If I don't sleep at night I can have naps throughout the day! Another positive I can take from this is that whilst the tinnitus is driving me insane it has taken my mind off the pain in my leg. In fact I have even managed to reduce the medication over the last two weeks however my specialist is reluctant for me to reduce it any further at this stage.
Life was never meant to be easy XXX